Happy New Year

The first Chinese new year here, while receiving those greeting messages and calls from you, makes me feel better :) Thanks you guys.

Actually, from the first day of new year, the sky turned back to blue and the sun smiled since morning.

MoreoverI found the English version of Sophie's World: A Novel About the History of Philosophy, the book I read when I was in junior or high school, and another one I really want to read - Mankiw's Macroeconomics.

Before the new year, I forced to return the book I want to read. Now I found new treasure.

Happy new year to all my friends. No matter where you are, I hope you can be healthy, happy and with a simple life with full of surprise :)

a terrible day

Since morning, feeling not well, I found myself even can't concentrate. After checking email, I found the book -The Clash of Civilizations and the Remaking of World Order , which I checked out from library was assigned as reserve book for some course which means I have to return it today. Without choice, I had to went back even I felt so sick.

After computer architecture and distributed system, I felt exhausted and helpless. Jacob tried to cheer me up, so we went to getaway cafe, with talk and walk which might do good to me. Maybe for most people, a large of time they would talk about work, game or daily life, but seldom find people you can talk to about anything or any thoughts. Though not easy to find a people to be so freely to talk about anything, but once you find that might be your life-time friend. BTW, although I have been there for several times, I just figure out why it called getaway, just like some kind of secrete garden. Nice name :)

Whole afternoon, trying to keep myself breathing, eating chocolate and drinking hot water, that's the only thing I can do to make self feel better. Quite missing DD and ZZ, I know at this time, they can hold me and try to make me sleep,

New year comes, in this special time, special case, I seemed so vulnerable..........Hope tomorrow, it will be sunny with blue sky.

inaudible screaming

Recently, the news about high and persistent unemployment flushed all media. Though most west media claimed that because of the restrict economy policy, China experienced less shock, when the real truth below the appearance revealed, it is just like the inaudible screaming, always being ignored by big wave or event with devouring a generation of the working class.

While the first time, I went to Shenzhen to visit dd, passing through Dongwan, a world factory of clothes, shoes, toys, covered with just factories and high density low-skilled but workers, most of them are female and forced to drop from junior school. I heard a lot of truth report of their life. Every time I felt quite low and helpless, because I can't change their live or even little their situation.

For the owner of the factories, they are just a group of labors which can be replaced anytime. For the city, they were just barbarian visitors, though contributing to the prosperity of the city, not belonging to here, without corresponding respect and protection but being controlled and repelled. When they going back to hometown, although they feeling the status change, such welcome most comes from the money they bring back not means the warmth from family, and along with tedious and restriction.

They envy the city life style but can not be easily assimilated or identified. They were just in the middle of two different world, none of which belongs to them any more. They are lost in the fast moving economy machine and development of cities.

Most of the time, China's fast development is explained by the successful transformation from planned system to market system. In reality, what it does is just taking the example of the Capitalism in 19th century, combining the political power and market force to fast the process of capital transformation of labor, land, environment and all kinds of resources. But it takes two hundred years for Capitalism to complete this changes, when it squeezes into thirty years, you can imagine what kind of social reform it would bring to China.

The most grief thing is that they are trying to scream but ignored because they are just considered as the inevitable sacrifice of the success of economy. Now they face more serious situation, an economic crisis. Before they need to fight for their right. Although China has issued the new labour laws which would protect vulnerable workers and improve working conditions, because of this economic crisis, this agenda has been postponed. Moreover, most factories owners just close their factory and terminate all their workers, who need to struggle for survival.

While reading those news and watching pictures, I want to know what I can do for you.

Freefall from Nu NRG

Nu NRG from Italy are formed by Andrea Ribeca and Giuseppe Ottaviani. A very special mix of melody combined with a pulsating energy and with a strong passion. The new age lovers would be familiar with Prog Trance. Then you should not miss this album. It started from classic string music, with amazing feeling of space and floating. From the name of this album, I think, you are probably able to feel flying in music. Enjoying it.

While going through a quite disappointed day, listening this kind of music refreshes my wet feeling. Trying to stay clam and balance. :)

Jazzy Sexy Soul

The first thing, after I got up, was to check out whether this album has been downloaded.

This is an amazing album, especially for the fans of jazz and new age music - it combines both elements. It is quite great for the people who would like to spend a whole afternoon under the sunshine reading novels, enjoying life.

The Clash of Civilizations and the Remaking of World Order

Although I try to find this book before, years after that I still have a lot of books in my waiting list before that, suddenly, when I got the news that the author Samuel P. Huntington passed out, I just can't wait. Some times, when it vanishes, you can just find out how precious it is in you life, which ordinary people always do in their life.

Though in quite madness of time schedule of this quarter, I still want some thing outside engineering. On the first day of school, I finally can check out it. Enjoying it :)

Lost and meditation

The last day of vacation, I finished the book "predictably irrational". Just as the author said in his book - "In the end, and with all my foreknowledge of the difficulty in this decision-making process, I was just as predictably irrational as everyone else." - according to the situation I am in, I think, most of the time, I probably make the same irrational decision.

Having interests in reading psychology or economy books, not only for interests, but also for the desire to known myself. I remember to think about it question while preparing for the GRE issue - "The most elusive knowledge is self-knowledge, and it is usually acquired through solitude, rather than through interaction with others." This is a kind of knowledge that you can only gain it by yourself, no matter from reading books or practical experiments, only after meditation of self indeed, then you can find it, which is so hard and might take a life time to search it, acknowledge it, which may be the reason the sagacious ancient Greeks inscribed the aphorism - "Know yourself" in the pronaos of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi.

Even if you know yourself well, it is not easy to prevent yourself to fall into the same irrational behavior, I mean, routine thoughts or actions. If your life span is as long as vampire, you can start again at any time, if you want. But in reality, how many chances can we ruin in our life time? I remember the last time I felt lost, I ended up making decision to apply to PHD program without clearly solve the mess situation. Now encountering the same crossroad, what am I going to do, especially with taking into account the consequences of not deciding?

But there is one thing for sure, I will try to do something different, as my new year resolution, though not easy but worthy trying, and keeping myself on the journey of finding passion :)